Articles

Missed Part I? Read it here. Do you know the Serenity Prayer? “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage…

In early April, I cut my own hair. Not a trim, by the way. That was the plan but it didn’t work out that way…

“Peter,” the email from a reader started, “Re the Masterclass video – old jeans with a hole in the knee? What are we trying to…

On April 23rd, my father died of lymphoma he could no longer fight.  “There are few people in this world who leave an indelible mark,”…

I’ll start with what the nurse says when she calls from my children’s school: “Don’t worry, everything is OK.” That’s true here, too. At the time…

The experience of learning is primarily emotional.

Because even if he knew his leadership (and his life) wasn’t working, even if on some level he was uncomfortable with it, there was a stubborn part of him that was actually deeply comfortable with it. He knew this place of holding everything and, in the past, it had even helped him succeed.

It was the second day of an intensive leadership program I lead once a year and there were 20 participants in the room. Gupta and…

At the end of January, I shared that I was named to the Thinkers50 Radar Class of 2019. I have tremendous respect for Thinkers50 and…

In my defense, I was tired. It had been a long day involving travel and time zone changes. But that’s the point really. When aren’t…

Everybody loves feedback… as long as it’s positive. But most of us dislike negative feedback so much that we’ve even changed the name—it’s not negative,…

Geoff, a client whose name I’ve changed to protect his privacy, is a successful entrepreneur. The business he started has grown impressively. He is visionary…

I think of myself as strong. I see myself as someone who can manage a lot of stress. Who can get a tremendous amount accomplished…

Yesterday started with the best of intentions. I walked into my office in the morning with a vague sense of what I wanted to accomplish.…

The discussion was impassioned and heated. And while I had not initiated the debate, I unconsciously slid into an old habit of jumping into the…

It was the last race of the ski season. My son Daniel, 10 years old, was at the starting gate in his speed suit, helmet…

Robert is a strong leader. How do I know? When he left one company to join another, many in his top team followed him to…

“I can see that you worked hard on this report,” Janice, the CEO, told Fred, her head of HR, after sitting through the 45-minute, 33-page PowerPoint…

No matter your age, your role, your position, your title, your profession, or your status, to get your most important work done, you have to have hard conversations, create accountability, and inspire action.

Jeffrey* was the CEO of a hedge fund and he was upset about some poor trades that Pamela, one of his portfolio managers made. Jeffrey…

I’d known Jeff (not his real name) for many years, as a client and as a friend, but I’d never seen him so thrown. I could feel his fear, his sense of uncertainty.

Think about something you’re having a hard time getting started on, something important to you. Maybe it’s a particular kind of work — like writing…

I looked at my watch. It was 3:20pm. I had been on the phone for over an hour, almost all of that time listening to…

If you can imagine your Big Arrow, you’ve already mastered half the strategy for getting your organization back on track.

Paul,* the CEO of Maxreed, a global publishing company, was having trouble sleeping. Publishing is an industry that’s changing even faster than most other fast-changing…

When I walked into our small apartment-building gym at 7:30am Monday morning, there was a yoga mat and foam roller lying in the only open…

Robert and Howard* had always gotten along well. They’d worked on several projects together and considered each other friends. So when Robert discovered that Howard…

I was coaching Sanjay,* a leader in a technology firm who felt stuck and frustrated. He wasn’t where he wanted to be at this point…

It was another conversation about Donald Trump. Or Ted Cruz. Maybe it was about Hillary Clinton. Honestly, I can’t remember. What I do remember is…

Five years ago, after becoming frustrated with my fruitless tendency to juggle multiple activities at once, I tried an experiment: for one week, I would…

It was the late 1980s and I was sitting in a university lecture hall listening to Abbie Hoffman, an author and an activist, ranting about…

John* was doing his best to be calm, but his frustration was palpable. Jeanine was explaining that there was little chance her group was going…

“Daddy, come look!” my ten-year-old daughter Sophia yelled, excited. We were in Savannah, GA at my wife Eleanor’s childhood home, heading to a lunch. I…

“That’s my shirt, Sophia. Take it off!” “Daniel! Get off my bed!” “Isabelle, get out of the bathroom!” It was 6:45 am and my three…

Earlier this year I returned from a two-day meeting on the West Coast. The schedule was reasonable and the travel, this time, was easy. Still,…

I perused the restaurant menu for several minutes, struggling with indecision, each item tempting me in a different way. Maybe I should order them all…

I was biking with my friends Eric and Adam, both far more skilled and experienced mountain bikers than I, on terrain that was slightly beyond…

“Whoa! What are you doing?” I asked aghast. I had just walked into my daughter’s room as she was working on a science project. Normally,…

A client of ours, Jeff*, was the CEO of a high tech, fast growth company and he had a reputation for losing his temper. He…

I was opening the mail (the real mail, the one delivered by an actual, live person) and between the bills and solicitations, was a single…

When we were in college, Eleanor, then my girlfriend (now my wife), wanted me to take a Myers-Briggs type test, a personality assessment that would…

For many years — almost as long as he could remember — Ian* owned and ran a successful pub in his small town in Ireland.…

George*, a managing director at a large financial services firm, had an uncanny ability to move a roomful of people to his perspective. What George…

I’ve skied just about every winter weekend for the past thirty eight years. Skiing is one of my great joys in life, and I take…

At 8:20 am, my twelve-year-old daughter, Isabelle, was rushing to meet her ski group. She was 20 minutes late and stressed – she takes her…

“Why?” the CEO of the hedge fund yelled at one of his portfolio managers. “Why would you increase that investment? What were you thinking?” The…

By now, we all know multitasking doesn’t work. Our brains are incapable of focusing on more than one thing at a time. We might think…

How confidently do you stand when confronted by others? How willing are you to take real risks that may fail? How well do you manage…

“So,” I asked Mary*. “Do you have any feedback for me? What can I do better the next time?” We had just finished delivering a…

I spoke with Charlie Herman, host of WNYC’s Money Talking, about how to successfully transition back to work after a relaxing vacation. Don’t recreate the…

One of the things I love about my synagogue is its commitment to inclusiveness. The community welcomes people of all faiths and integrates practices from…

Rashid,* the CEO of a high-tech company and a client of mine for nearly a decade, called to tell me we had a major issue…

I had just sat down to look over my calendar and plan my day when the phone rang. It was my contractor. Several of his…

I was facilitating the two-day executive offsite of a mid-sized technology company. The goal of the meeting was to solve major issues and identify potential…

You come back from vacation and start your game of catch-up. This is an especially challenging game if you’re a senior leader. You have hundreds,…

I had been planning a dinner party for weeks. There were twenty people coming, some family, some friends, to celebrate my wife Eleanor’s birthday. I…

I anticipated that the conversation would be difficult. Shari* and I had worked together for many years, and I knew she was expecting me to…

Girish* is a client of mine who runs a 500-million-dollar business. He gets stellar reviews and is seen as a high potential successor to the…

I knew that I probably shouldn’t send the email I had just written. I wrote it in anger and frustration, and we all know that…

I was following the same yoga video I had followed more than 30 times in the past. Because I know the routine well, I usually…

A few months ago, Paul Franco* took a job working part-time for a company in the healthcare industry. At the time, Paul told me he…

Rafael Nadal, who just won the U.S. Open for the second time, is my hero.

His athleticism is extraordinary. His focus is awe-inspiring. His skill is, clearly, second to none. His will is unremitting. It’s a joy to watch him in competition. Yet those are not the reasons he’s my hero. In fact, it wasn’t until after he was finished playing in this year’s final that he rose to role model in my book.

So what was it?

It was getting close to lunch time and the people seated around the table — the CEO and seven of his direct reports — were clearly getting antsy. But it wasn’t because they were hungry.

Emotional courage is an essential work skill. Here’s how to burnish yours.

For years I’ve exercised every day — doing weights, cardio, yoga — but despite my continuous effort, I haven’t seen much change.

Until a few months ago.

Recently, my body has changed. My muscles are stronger, more defined, and I’ve lost five pounds along with a visible layer of fat. So what did I do differently?

Identify the goal, assess the current situation, understand the gap, and then close it. Consulting 101. Simple, right?

Only in this case, it wasn’t so simple…

They’d all read innumerable books on leadership, taken leadership skills assessments, and attended multiple training programs — including executive leadership programs at top business schools. They knew as much as anyone about leadership.

So why weren’t they leading?

Even before I released the disc, I knew it was a long shot. And, unfortunately, it was a clumsy one too.

A recent early morning hike in Malibu, California, led me to a beach, where I sat on a rock and watched surfers. I marveled at these courageous men and women who woke before dawn, endured freezing water, paddled through barreling waves, and even risked shark attacks, all for the sake of, maybe, catching an epic ride.

After about 15 minutes…

When I arrived at the restaurant, I apologized and told her I didn’t mean to be late.

She answered: “You never mean to be late.” Uh oh, she was mad.

“Sorry,” I retorted, “but it was unavoidable.” I told her about the client meeting. Not only did my explanations not soothe her, they seemed to make things worse.

“Watch out!” she shouted after the dog, then saw me looking at her and added, “He’s always in the way.”

Really? You step on a dog and then you blame the dog? Who does that?

Actually, a lot of us do.

I was running a leadership offsite at The Allison Inn and Spa in Oregon — one of my favorite hotels — and the food, as always, was exquisite. The carrot cake at lunch was so delicious that I ate two pieces. And when the staff brought out big, thick, gooey, homemade cookies during a break, I was already so far outside my circle of guilt that I ate three of them.

The offsite was a success. But physically, I felt so full, it hurt. So why did I keep eating?

Robyn*, a close friend of mine and senior leader at a large pharmaceutical company, referred me to work with Dan, the CEO of one of…

Irene* is a great colleague. A senior manager in a large consulting firm, she pitches in when the workload gets heavy, covers for people when…

The night before our wedding, Eleanor and I stood awkwardly in the center of a large room, surrounded by our family and our closest friends.…

The biggest and most destructive myth in time management is that you can get everything done if only you follow the right system, use the right…

“Sophia, Daniel,” I yelled across the apartment at my seven-year-old and five-year-old who were playing together in their bedroom. “The school bus arrives in 10…

I was having one of those days — maybe you’re familiar with them? — when I felt like a passenger on a fast, jerky subway…

John, the CEO of a sales organization, sent an email to Tim, an employee several levels below, to complement him on his performance in a…

In the last few days, I’ve heard New York City described as a tale of two cities: one city of people who were drastically impacted…

Jeff*, like me, is a writer, a speaker, and the head of a consulting company. As far as I can tell, he’s professional, well respected,…

“Who can tell me what holiday is coming up next week?” Dorit* looked around the room at the circle of six year olds, almost all…

A young woman I know is a star. In her early thirties, she had an M.B.A. and was already running a small division of a…

Drawing on his popular blog for the Harvard Business Review, Bregman lays out a strategy for blocking out distractions and getting things done. The title…

My friend Dave* mentioned to me that he just received the results from a medical exam and was surprised and disappointed by his numbers. His…

Yes Mr Bregman, count me in the plan, I want to achieve all that you say in your book title here. Find your Focus Master Distraction and…

Imagine you have six months to travel—free time to go anywhere you want, do anything that pleases you. Where would you go and with whom?…

“Did you get done what you wanted to get done today?” Eleanor, my wife, asked me. “Not really,” I said. She laughed. “Didn’t you write…