Hurricane Sandy was barreling towards the coast and the news reports were grim. This would be the worst storm to hit the Northeast region since,…
Managing yourself
Take Your Life Back
The waiter was halfway through taking my family’s order when his manager called him away. “Where did the waiter go?” Sophia, our seven-year-old, asked. Daniel,…
If You’re Too Busy to Meditate, Read This
This morning, like every morning, I sat cross-legged on a cushion on the floor, rested my hands on my knees, closed my eyes, and did…
The Reverse Psychology of Temptation
“Oh this is delicious, Peter. The ice cream is homemade, the perfect consistency, And this lemon cookie on top, mmmmm. Are you sure you don’t…
Who Are You Really Mad At?
A man and two children, a boy about nine and a girl about seven, were walking ahead of me in silence. The boy looked up…
The Best Strategy for Reducing Stress
Imagine you’re sailing in the Bahamas, sipping a cold drink and listening to the water lapping the sides of the boat. Relaxing, right? Not for…
Defend Your Sweet Spot
Spending time on projects that he considered unimportant was driving Carlos* insane. Carlos is an excellent leader. He’s turned around every business that he’s led…
The Emotional Adventure of Leadership
I was lost. I looked at the map and my heart raced as I admitted to myself — only to myself — that I had…
What’s On Your To-Don’t List?
When the first iPad came out, I bought it, became obsessed, and, within two weeks, returned it. Why did the obsession wear off so quickly? It…
How to Speak More Strategically
It had been three weeks since my throat started to feel sore, and it wasn’t getting better. The pain was most acute when I spoke.…
Do You Know What You Are Feeling?
Over the 23 years since we met, my wife Eleanor and I have spent considerable time, money, and energy on our development. Individually and together,…
A Super-Efficient Email Process
“Here’s my problem with email,” Jane*, a lawyer friend of mine told me recently, “I open Outlook expecting to quickly check my email, but then…
The Challenge: Do One Emotionally Difficult Thing Every Day
The email was compelling–a personal note from Jared*, a man I like and respect. He had taken over from me as president of the board…
Coping with Email Overload
A few weeks ago, I returned from a week-long technology-free vacation with my family. No computer, no phone, no email. When I got to the…
How to Respond to Emotional Outbursts
“Please, Daddy, please? Can we open our presents from you now?” It was the third night of Hanukkah and my wife Eleanor, our three young…
Do You Need a Checkup?
I had been feeling a little odd; a number of minor physical discomforts were leading me to feel anxious about my health in general. And…
How to Attend a Conference as Yourself
I often feel awkward when I go to a conference. Reluctant to sidle up to a stranger and introduce myself, I roam, like I did…
How to Start the Big Project You’ve Been Putting Off
I want to write a screenplay. I wanted to write one last year, but other work took more time than I expected, and I kept…
Your Problem Isn’t Motivation
“Peter,” my friend Byron emailed me a few days ago. “I haven’t been diligent about working out over the past five years and I’m trying…
Restore Yourself to Your Factory Default Settings
My wireless connection to the internet had suddenly stopped working. At first I was frustrated — I had been in the middle of browsing some…
What’s Your One Big Theme?
Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish new year, the time when we think about our past year and plan for our next. What do I want…
Want to Succeed? Stop Trying So Hard
“What’s eight times eight?” I asked Isabelle, my 9-year-old daughter who was practicing her times tables. Her eyes glazed over. We were on a plane…
The Right Way to Come Back From Vacation
“Daddy, come look at our island! Quick! Before it disappears!” We were in Bluffton, South Carolina playing on a sandbar that emerges only at low…
Three Questions that Help Me Live a Fulfilling Life
I am on a plane with my wife Eleanor as we fly back from our once-a-year-without-children vacation. It was, for us, the perfect week. After…
How to Stay Focused on the Important Things
“I want to pass something by you,” I said to my friend Jori* who has lost 80 pounds over the past six months. “Our ability…
Flexing Your “No Thanks” Muscle
“Would you like to save 10% on your purchase by signing up for a Bloomingdales’ credit card?” asked the sales person who had helped me…
Three Steps to Handling the Unexpected
When my friend Sam invited his new girlfriend Robyn to join him for a sailing trip, he was relatively new…
Unlocking Your Success Equation
Jim Wolfensohn was a second-year student at the University of Sydney when a friend of his and the captain of…
What to Do When You Have No Time to Think
On a recent hectic business trip to Florence, I lucked out; my client booked me into the Four Seasons. The…
Getting Past a Communication Impasse
What do you do when you have a communication impasse with someone you care about? Jim* is a friend and…
Too Much to Do? Take on More
I know how to handle stress. I know that each day I need to get seven or eight hours of…
A Simple Communication Mistake to Avoid
Eleanor and I were fast asleep at my parents’ house in upstate New York when my five-year-old daughter Sophia came…
Visualize Failure
This post is part of HBR’s special issue on failure. Several hours into the first day of our paddle down…
What To Do With Your To-Do List
Last week, in A Better Way to Manage Your To-Do List, I wrote about the importance of using your calendar…
A Better Way to Manage Your To-Do List
When my wife Eleanor was a little girl, maybe nine or ten years old, she needed new shoes. So she…
How to Use Your Super Power for Good
[For more, visit the Communication Insight Center.] I folded my bike and carried it into the lobby of the office…
A Life-or-Death Question to Start Your Day
My wife Eleanor and I were alone on a three-week kayak expedition in Prince William Sound in Alaska. Eleanor was…
The Best Way to Use the Last Five Minutes of Your Day
Julie Anko*, the head of a division of a retail company I work with, was at risk of getting fired….
TEDx Flint: Peter Bregman Talks About Living with Your Hands off Your Ears
The Value of Ritual in Your Workday
I recently saw the movie The Last Samurai for the second time. Set in Japan in the 1870s, it tells…
Peter Bregman, on what today’s business leaders need to succeed
Peter Bregman, the CEO of Bregman Partners, has served as an adviser to leadership teams at some of the world’s best-known organizations, including Morgan Stanley, Nasdaq,…
Don’t Let the Package Distract You from the Message
My wife Eleanor and I came home from dinner the other night, and found our babysitter, Leslie*, in tears. “Is…
Why Leaders Must Feel Pain
I was on a plane, flying back to New York from California where I’d spent the week in an intense…
How to Teach Yourself to Trust Yourself
Last week I went to an evening to honor and advance the vision of the late Dr. Allan Rosenfield, Dean…
The Big Test: How to Handle Performance Pressure
“Ugh!” I put my hands on my head and looked away from my computer at the ceiling. “I can’t do…
Why the Best Solutions Are Always Temporary Ones
“You’re vegan? Again?” Nicky laughed. “Didn’t you already try that?” “Why don’t you just eat normally, everything in moderation?” Pam…
Marc Steiner show on Managing Stress
Peter Bregman spoke about managing stress, dealing with overwhelm, structuring time, and meditation on the Marc Steiner show with Lea Gilmore: The Marc Steiner…
Not Enough Time? Try Doing Nothing
It was a beautiful, sunny day in New York City as I rode my bike into Central Park. I took…
A Practical Plan for When You Feel Overwhelmed
In general, September is often a difficult month: I’m catching up from summer vacation as are many of my clients,…
How to Handle Surprise Criticism
“Peter, there’s something we want to talk to you about,” Mark said as we were sitting on the ground eating…
Live Life as an Experiment
It was an experiment. I was returning an item to the store from which I had bought it. The item…
The Best Way to Handle a Power Struggle
My flight from New York to Paris was delayed — maybe it would be canceled — and the passengers at…
An interview with Bulgarian magazine “Manager”
Mr. Bregman, can the change in a company begin from the bottom? And how would that not lead to anarchy?…
Don’t Regret Working Too Hard
I was lying in bed, safely reading a magazine, when the fear arose. It started somewhere between my stomach and…
Should Steve Jobs be more apologetic?
Should Steve Jobs be more apologetic? THE PROBLEM When Apple’s Steve Jobs made a public statement on problems with the iPhone 4 and how the…
How to Avoid (and Quickly Recover from) Misunderstandings
To be fair to me, I was pretty focused at the time, working in my office on an article. When…
Advice for hard times: Take sips from a full cup
A few thousand years ago, the Bible story goes, Pharaoh woke up from a dream he couldn’t understand: He was standing by a river and…
Why Friends Matter at Work and in Life
Susan Harrison, my mother in law, died several months ago after a long and courageous battle with cancer. Like most…
Why I Returned My iPad
A little more than a week after buying the iPad, I returned it to Apple. The problem wasn’t the iPad…
The No-Drama Rule of Management
I lay back in the chair, closed my eyes, and almost immediately felt my body relax. An instant later a…
A Ritual to Help You Keep Your Focus and Your Temper
John McCaffrey* is a great guy. The CEO of a professional services firm, he’s been successful by any measure. He’s…
How (and Why) to Stop Multitasking
During a conference call with the executive committee of a nonprofit board on which I sit, I decided to send…
A Two-Step Plan for Changing Your Bad Habits
I was on my cell talking with someone about something — I can’t remember who or what anymore — as…
How (and When) to Motivate Yourself
I woke up this morning to pouring rain and temperatures in the low 40s. I had planned on going for…
Don’t Get Distracted by Your Plan
Wait a minute, I thought, as I looked up from the trail we had been hiking for several hours. Where…
Don’t Let Your Expectations Fool You
Two weeks ago, with the sun shining and little buds emerging from tree branches, I got frostbite while skiing. Not…
Manager Employee Communication
Peter Bregman writes for the Harvard Business Review, and he’s also CEO of Bregman Partners, a global management consulting firm. Bregman authored an article in January titled “When…
The Worth-Your-Time Test
Nate Eisman* recently started working for a large consulting firm after many years as an independent consultant. He called me…
The Mostly Unplugged Vacation
I’m going on vacation with my family in a few weeks, and I’m anxious. Anyone who knows me knows how…
The Cardinal Rule of Rules
I was in my home office, on the phone with a new client, when I heard a knock on the…
How to Handle Silence, the Worst Kind of Feedback
Last week I shared the problem of Alex, a marketing consultant who was left in the dark when Sam, a…
When Your Voicemails and Emails Go Unanswered, What Should You Do?
A few months ago Alex, a marketing consultant I know, met with Sam, the head of marketing at a pharmaceutical…
For 2010, think of self-reliance as progress
New York (CNN) — In last year’s futuristic movie, “Wall-E,” human beings, evacuated from an uninhabitable Earth, now live in a space station, confined to hover…
How to Reverse a Mistake in the Middle of It
I was moving as fast as I could and not getting anywhere, a feeling I’m well acquainted with. This time,…
When to Confront Someone: The Rule of Three
“Should I bother to have the conversation with her? What do you think?” Mike*, a marketing director, was telling me…
How to Talk About What You Most Dread
“I have a question,” a woman we’ll call Tricia said to me during the break at a leadership training class…
How Not Achieving Something Is the Key to Achieving It
Many years ago, when I first started my consulting firm, a friend of mine, Jane*, who worked for a large…
Diversify Your Self
Recently, a woman working for France Telecom sent an email to her father. Then she walked over to the window…
To Change Effectively, Change Just One Thing
I lost 18 pounds in the past month and a half. I didn’t exercise harder or longer than usual. I…
Choose the Fantasy World You Live In
A few weeks ago my wife Eleanor and I escaped for a few hours to go mountain biking in Panthertown…
How to Escape Perfectionism
According to the World Database of Happiness (yes, there is one), Iceland is the happiest place on earth. That’s right,…
What to Do When You’re Out of Control
“Ladies and gentleman, this is your Captain speaking. We have a situation.” And with those words, the saga of my…
To Get More Done, Slow Down
On a Friday afternoon almost twenty years ago, soon after I had started working at a New York consulting firm,…
Prepare Yourself for the Next Downturn
I started my consulting business 11 years ago with a laptop computer in a living room. It grew quickly. The…
To Get What You Want, Don’t Go With Your Gut
About five years ago I took on a new client in New York City. This company had lawsuits against it,…
Undo Send in Real Life
I am alligator man, a dangerous amphibious monster. I swim quietly toward my prey, a seven-year-old girl named Isabelle, who…
Why You Need to Fail
“Peter, I’d like you to stay for a minute after class.” Calvin teaches my favorite body conditioning class at the…
You May Be Hiding the Secret to Your Success
I was having lunch with a friend of mine, a man who has been very successful in business. Deeply generous,…
How to Teach Yourself Restraint
The screaming started a few minutes before breakfast. As far as I could tell, our 2-year-old son Daniel took our…
Play the Game You Know You Can Win
How can a few pirates in small boats capture and hold huge tanker ships hostage? How can a few scattered…
Two Lists You Should Look at Every Morning
I was late for my meeting with the CEO of a technology company and I was emailing him from my…
Want to Keep Your Job? Stop Trying to Fit In
I was running along the six-mile loop in Central Park on a cold winter day when I passed the southern…