Hurricane Sandy was barreling towards the coast and the news reports were grim. This would be the worst storm to hit the Northeast region since,…
Communication
Tips on how to respond to workplace negativity
Working With People You Don’t Like Video
A Leader’s Imperative to Cut Through Clutter
The Reverse Psychology of Temptation
“Oh this is delicious, Peter. The ice cream is homemade, the perfect consistency, And this lemon cookie on top, mmmmm. Are you sure you don’t…
Protect Your Sweet Spot
Who Are You Really Mad At?
A man and two children, a boy about nine and a girl about seven, were walking ahead of me in silence. The boy looked up…
The Secret to Motivating People
How to Speak More Strategically
It had been three weeks since my throat started to feel sore, and it wasn’t getting better. The pain was most acute when I spoke.…
The Mouthwash Principle: For Max Effectiveness At Work, Rinse And Repeat
I had what I considered a pretty solid dental routine: floss and brush twice a day. That’s enough, right? Not according to my new dentist.…
Do You Know What You Are Feeling?
Over the 23 years since we met, my wife Eleanor and I have spent considerable time, money, and energy on our development. Individually and together,…
A Super-Efficient Email Process
“Here’s my problem with email,” Jane*, a lawyer friend of mine told me recently, “I open Outlook expecting to quickly check my email, but then…
The Challenge: Do One Emotionally Difficult Thing Every Day
The email was compelling–a personal note from Jared*, a man I like and respect. He had taken over from me as president of the board…
Coping with Email Overload
A few weeks ago, I returned from a week-long technology-free vacation with my family. No computer, no phone, no email. When I got to the…
How to Respond to Emotional Outbursts
“Please, Daddy, please? Can we open our presents from you now?” It was the third night of Hanukkah and my wife Eleanor, our three young…
How to Attend a Conference as Yourself
I often feel awkward when I go to a conference. Reluctant to sidle up to a stranger and introduce myself, I roam, like I did…
Diversity Training Doesn’t Work
“We’ve got another lawsuit,” my friend and client Lana* told me over the phone. “Really?” I was honestly surprised. “What about all that diversity training…
The Problem with High Expectations
At 5 am I was lying in bed, awake, thinking. Actually, thinking is too generous a word for what I was doing. I was perseverating.…
Do People Really Want You to Be Honest?
My wife Eleanor and I were walking up a mountain road, enjoying a rare moment of being alone together. As we rounded a bend, we…
The Power of Workplace Do-It-Yourself
Plural Investments*, a hedge fund started several years ago, had a problem. They needed art on the walls of their New York City offices. It…
When Nothing Works
I’d had tendinitis in my elbow for over a year. Even something as gentle as twisting a doorknob made me wince in pain. I went…
Restore Yourself to Your Factory Default Settings
My wireless connection to the internet had suddenly stopped working. At first I was frustrated — I had been in the middle of browsing some…
How to Avoid Becoming a Person You Hate
I was so angry my whole body was shaking. I stared at Günther* with hate, my left hand in a fist and my right hand…
One Thing I’ve Learned From The Wall Street Protests
During a bleak, cold winter in New York City, a park is occupied by thousands who stand there day and night for weeks. Nobody knows…
How to Really Listen
One morning, my wife Eleanor woke up, turned over, and said, “I am not looking forward to this day.” I asked her why. What came…
Getting Past a Communication Impasse
What do you do when you have a communication impasse with someone you care about? Jim* is a friend and…
A Simple Communication Mistake to Avoid
Eleanor and I were fast asleep at my parents’ house in upstate New York when my five-year-old daughter Sophia came…
Don’t Be Nice; Be Helpful
Ron* was up next. As a senior analyst in this investment firm — and a good one — he…
The Right Way to Respond to Failure
My wife Eleanor and I were visiting some friends on a Saturday when their nine-year-old daughter, Dana*, came home. She…
How to Use Your Super Power for Good
[For more, visit the Communication Insight Center.] I folded my bike and carried it into the lobby of the office…
Arguing Is Pointless
It was lunchtime and the seven of us — two kids and five adults — would be in the car…
The Secret to Ensuring Follow-Through
“Listen, I would love the reorg to work. But I just can’t trust them.” I had called Mary* as part…
Don’t Let the Package Distract You from the Message
My wife Eleanor and I came home from dinner the other night, and found our babysitter, Leslie*, in tears. “Is…
Live Life as an Experiment
It was an experiment. I was returning an item to the store from which I had bought it. The item…
The Best Way to Handle a Power Struggle
My flight from New York to Paris was delayed — maybe it would be canceled — and the passengers at…
An interview with Bulgarian magazine “Manager”
Mr. Bregman, can the change in a company begin from the bottom? And how would that not lead to anarchy?…
Should Steve Jobs be more apologetic?
Should Steve Jobs be more apologetic? THE PROBLEM When Apple’s Steve Jobs made a public statement on problems with the iPhone 4 and how the…
How to Avoid (and Quickly Recover from) Misunderstandings
To be fair to me, I was pretty focused at the time, working in my office on an article. When…
An Effective (and Underused) Way to Reassure and Motivate
Yoga is astonishingly predictable. Invariably after an hour class I feel light, supple, strong, and refreshed. But Liz’s class felt…
Manager Employee Communication
Peter Bregman writes for the Harvard Business Review, and he’s also CEO of Bregman Partners, a global management consulting firm. Bregman authored an article in January titled “When…
The Cardinal Rule of Rules
I was in my home office, on the phone with a new client, when I heard a knock on the…
How to Help Others Through a Difficult Transition
“I don’t want to go to ski class!” Sophia, my four-year-old daughter, was crying. I knelt down on the snow…
How to Handle Silence, the Worst Kind of Feedback
Last week I shared the problem of Alex, a marketing consultant who was left in the dark when Sam, a…
When Your Voicemails and Emails Go Unanswered, What Should You Do?
A few months ago Alex, a marketing consultant I know, met with Sam, the head of marketing at a pharmaceutical…
The Right Speech to Make This Year
In 2008, Marc, the CEO of a 100-person software development company, decided not to have a company holiday party. What…
How to Reverse a Mistake in the Middle of It
I was moving as fast as I could and not getting anywhere, a feeling I’m well acquainted with. This time,…
When to Confront Someone: The Rule of Three
“Should I bother to have the conversation with her? What do you think?” Mike*, a marketing director, was telling me…
How to Talk About What You Most Dread
“I have a question,” a woman we’ll call Tricia said to me during the break at a leadership training class…
The Martial Art of Difficult Conversations
My wife Eleanor and I used to live in a small house in Princeton, New Jersey. One night we returned…
A New Rule for the Workplace
A few months ago my wife Eleanor came home upset after an incident with one of the parents at our…
Undo Send in Real Life
I am alligator man, a dangerous amphibious monster. I swim quietly toward my prey, a seven-year-old girl named Isabelle, who…